A new chapter..

It's almost the end of May and almost all of my friends have continued their studies around Malaysia. A majority of them is in KML and a few are already sitting for their exams. Time does fly I guess. Even breaking the sound barrier. Haha. When I look back at when I just finished my SPM I said to myself that there is a long time to meet my friends and catch up with them. Maybe I was wrong. There are a lot of friends I failed to meet before they continued their studies. I don't blame them or anybody else. I partially blame myself  for my lack of confidence to brave it and greet them. People come and go in our life. And I am not saying it in a sad tone. This cycle of leaving and going actually increases our experiences in social activities. Imagine if we are left with the same peers from the moment we were born until we die. Of course we will feel great because we have loyal friends but don't we have the need to yearn more friends? Therefore the cycle of friends, in particular, in leaving and going is another of God's way for us to meet and mingle with His other creations so that we may have a strong community with a good social life in this world. But it is not God's way that people leave and is forgotten. God have provided us the chance to show his love by connecting again with these old friends by intentionally parting us with our friends at some point in our life so that we may truly value friendship. God works wonders doesn't it? But I don't mean to write this post to say that I'm glad that people part with me in my life but I just want to say to other people who are crying about leaving their friends and closed ones behind to look at the experience from another perspective. Maybe it will soothe their hearts a little. I am also leaving my friends and families next week and after writing about this, I feel better already. Anyway all the best to all of my friends and especially to YOU. If I have the chance, I will surely find you all. A new chapter of our life is beginning and I'll pray that we may have a pleasant experience. God Bless Us. Good night!!

My weakness, your strength, and vice versa...

Hello everyone. It's been a while since I wrote something. Well, I just finished my JPA interview. And to be frank I completely blew my chances away. All of the worst things that I imagined came true. No need to go into the details. It's enough to say that writing and voicing out my opinions are two different things for me. Life's like that you know. It's impossible to be the crème de la crème in everything. Sometimes you just have to accept that you don't have what other people have. God created us equally so that's why we have weaknesses. Maybe other people do not have our weaknesses but they also do not have our strengths. We were created by God to complement each other. That's why I am not very disappointed about the interview because I know my strengths lie elsewhere. But honestly I am a little disappointed because my ticket to studying overseas may have been burned to ashes. It has always been my dream to achieve that. But no worries. I still have the chance to achieve that dream. Sometimes we're up in the skies enjoying the peaceful view of the world and at other times we're lying flat on the ground covered in mud. It's like a wheel. When we have used our strengths to the fullest we're at the top of the wheel. But once we succumb to our weaknesses we roll to the bottom of the wheel.

And it's time to for other people to go the top. However, we can roll ourselves back on top by accepting our weakness and using our strengths to power ourselves. That's my philosophy. Never say that our weakness are the end. Think about our strengths. Be humble and do not underestimate other people. Who knows maybe when we're defeated by our weaknesses, the strengths of others whom we underestimated maybe the key to our survival. So, that's all peace out!

YESS!! I GOT IT!!

Yesterday I got the news I've been waiting for the entire month! I got the interview for the JPA scholarship! YES! YES! YES! I'm really excited and hyped for the interview. My mind is racing for all the things I should get ready with for the upcoming interview. Relax Jer, it's on the 10th of May so you should have a week to prepare. To be quite frank, I am anxious about this interview because my mind has this bad habit of making all these worst case scenarios which might occur during the interview instead of thinking optimistically. That being said, it is very important for me to prepare very well for this (so some research is compulsory). I'll talk to my seniors, sisters and my teachers to help me through the preparations as well as for their tips to succed through the interview. COME ON JER! You're just one little step away to achieving your dream! You've done so much that now is your time to reap the award! Don't let this moment be your downfall! So friends, pray for me and wish me luck. Thank you..

Cikgu Jerry

           So today I woke up as usual, and up until the evening, everything is normal. But then I found out that I was accepted into an interview for a place in an IPG or maktab. So to be honest I wasn't truly excited but I have to say I'm glad that I was accepted because so many people applied for this and yet so many failed. The prospect of me being a teacher is not something that I am aiming but, then again, we can't expect anything in life. Who knows maybe 10 years from now I'll be known as Cikgu Jerry. Haha. I was offered the English subject, which I like and then I dislike (huh? how on earth?). Well I like English because it gives me the opportunity to express my feelings in a more fashionable way. And if I were to become a teacher I hope that I can instill the beauty in expressing feelings through English in my students. The vast ways of writing in English enables one to create his own way of writing thus exemplifying his feelings. That is why I prefer English novel rather than Malay novel (no offense to Bahasa Melayu but I have to be honest, sorry) because I can access the author's mind through his or her writing. So I hope as a teacher (if I were to become one that is) I would not do the same mistake as most of the English teachers in Malaysia do which is teaching for the sake of teaching. I mean, most of the English teachers now teach grammars and vocabularies to students without exposing them to the true beauty of English. They strictly follow reference books and textbooks until the students usage of English become almost machine-like, churning out words that they know in English but never truly 'loved' them. That is why some students' compositions are weak although they have a creative idea. They just cannot find the words in English to as I mentioned earlier exemplify further their ideas. All the words they knew are the words their teacher repeatedly say in class. Therefore, I say that teachers should broadened their scope of teaching English to students. They should explain to students why writing 'perpetually bereft of companionship' is better than 'forever alone' although they have the same meaning. How adding metaphors to sentences can really make a difference. Teach the students to 'love' English. HOWEVER, the reason I dislike English is quite an ironic one. Well it's VERY hard to teach someone English until they can 'love' it and transform it into into an art. I have the experience of teaching someone English and boy was it hard. I can't imagine teaching a whole class of them! But, as a teacher (again, if i become one) I will do my best to help my students. I really respect two of my English teachers when I was still in SMK which were Madam Dayang and Miss Jamalisah. They were the ones that truly teaches english for the sake of lovng English. So, thank you teachers. Well, I know God have planned me a great path in the future. And if by then I will be known as Cikgu Jerry, I will make sure that I 'll do everything that I wrote here today. So that's all, PEACE OUT! GBU!

Sakit kepala yang amat....

OK so this morning after I went to church, I went for a nap in my bedroom. I woke up, cooked (actually reheat last night's dinner), ate and went online. But just a few minutes into facebook, I felt this slow but agonising pain running through my head. I tried to continue but I just can't. So I decided to log off and head to bed. But my parents told me to do the dishes(again) and I obeyed. Weird. Usually I would obey them but not before firing a few silent not-good-if-your-parents-hear words. So I was doing the dishes wen the pain got really, I mean REALLY worse. I can barely stand on my own two feet.. So I hastily finished my work and quickly went to lie down on my bed thinking this pain was just a sign of  fever. But as soon as I lied down  I realised the pain haven't subsided in fact it was getting worse and worse.. It was so painful that I rolled around in my bed several times.. The sounds around me was drowned by the throbbing of my pain (yes, i can 'hear' the pain imagine that). I couldn't stand it anymore so I struggled to get on my feet to ask my mother if some painkillers are available in the house. As soon as she saw me she said 'Why? Are you having a fever' and then my father said 'Atokei! You're so red! Even your eyes are red! Are you okay?' My sister repeated the statement. I felt strange so I ran to my room (yeah I ran) and looked myself in the mirror. And boy that's where I knew how bad I was. I was completely red as if I was hanged upside down. And my eyes looked like I got a bad case of conjunctivitis(motoon).. I haven't looked and felt this sick since I......err....I don't want to talk about that incident because it reminded me of her..So my mother said that that I should go see a doctor. But I said let me eat a tablet of painkiller and rest and if the pain still lingers then I'll see a doctor. So I took a tablet of it and rested in my room. I tried so hard to deal with the pain and eventually (thank God) I fell asleep. A few hours later I woke up feeling a little better. And now here I am writing this post feeling perfectly healthy. I still wonder how I got that major headache. All I can say is thank the Lord Jesus Christ for giving me a quick recovery.. Prais the LORD!!

Kecewa.....

So how was it? You might think of me badly now or you might not even give a damn about this.. well I do..I really do.. I give a FUCKING damn to what happened to us.. Seriously.. I thought you were better than this.. I apologized and yet you said it's not necessary? Well I tried again and again you opted to decline it.. You even said something that truly state where we are right now.. I shouldn't have moved my hand back then..I thought that was the perfect moment to explain it all to you.. So what if you're making a joke?! That 'joke' hurts you know.. It was all a mistake.. Yep a huge part of it is for me to blame.. but you should have heard me first..
Now I would think twice before talking to you.. Although it hurts so bad.. so bad... -dikopi dan pasta-

Bored

Yes I'm bored. That's why this post is here. My friends are not yet active in Facebook. So a few comments here and there and here I am writing a new post for my blog. Oh yes, I changed my profile picture to Ultraman. The reason is that I support the victims of child abuse. Haha, yeah right I just follow my friends who also changed their prof pic too Ultraman. I'm bored that's why. A lot of statuses i saw on facebook just now concerns BERSIH, love and their usual daily activities (which we don't care by the way).. But from that, i can see a lot of people not liking BERSIH. Well I don't give a damn what they're doing. Hahaha. But that THING from yesterday is still bothering me.... shit...